Being in the hospital is strange because every day is the same – while so different from my real life – in pace and flavor. The lights in the hall, outside my room, are on – at the same level – all all day and all night. There are a variety of beeping sounds at all times; there are a variety of nurses, a surprisingly high number of whom are Filipino, walking quickly to and fro; and a variety of old people, with and without walkers, slowly shuffling along.

I am in the Cardiac Surveillance Unit because my hemoglobin count is low which is a potential heart problem. But then – with a cow valve – everything is a potential heart problem. Outside, it is bright and clear: in the low 60s during the day and in the low 40s at night; inside the weather is just the gentle A/C flow. Outside, Egypt is falling apart, or falling together, or – hopefully not – just convulsing to, once again, fall back into what passes for normalcy in the dictatorships we call our Arab friends.

Inside there seems to be no Superbowl. Inside, there seems to be no live TV although every room has one. Inside Becky – from Uganda – comes by to cheerfully wake me to check my blood. Outside the world goes its Darwinian way while – inside – I am in a bubble of privilege.

I am writing this from my hospital room. Not a place I had expected to be. After feeling punker and punker, and weaker and weaker, and more nauseous and more nauseous; I threw up a lot more blood than I would have guessed I had. I think that Michele had all ready called 911 before I told her I didn't feel good.¹

The Woodside Fire Department was there in what seemed like 30 seconds and they called for additional paramedics who were there even faster. Our tax dollars at work.

Here it is 36 hours later and I have had four blood transfusions and have started to walk the halls with the aid of a walker. No longer worried about dying – at least in the foreseeable future.

1. As I was deteriorating – earlier – and Michele had kept asking me how I felt and I would say Not so good, or I don't feel very good. Finally, Michele said, Here is the deal, If you say you really don't feel good, we are going to emergency. So I kept hedging.

At least once a month – it seems – somebody at Fox tries to take on Jon Stewart. Maybe it would be more accurate to say that about once a month, Jon Stewart makes some crack about Fox and somebody at Fox takes exception. Then they get their ass kicked. Why do these idiots at Fox do this.

Do they just figure that because their research is so shoddy, Stewart's will be shoddy also? I guess it should be because The Daily Show is only a comedy show, but – by now – they should have learned. But they haven't learned and we are given an enjoyable little nugget like this.

I feel sorry for Joe Biden when Jon Stewart makes so much fun of him and then he – Joe that is – says that Mubarak is not a dictator and I think What a clueless – and, in the end, dangerous – goofball. And we help keep him in power – Mubarak, that is – with our desire for stability, our money, and our tear gas grenades.

We say that we are on the side of the Egyptians, but – it seems to me – we really aren't.  We are for stability, for order, for maintaining the status quo. When we attacked Iraq in 2003, the Marine commander's call sign was chaos – because, he said, the more chaotic the situation, the better we do – but that turned out to be idle chatter. When the battlefield turned chaotic, we couldn't adjust for years, despite out huge military superiority. 

John Kennedy said Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable. It seems to me that we – with our support of Arab dictators – are making peaceful  revolution very difficult.  When Jimmy Carter helps keep the Shah in power way past the Shah's due date, when the Palestiniann people vote in Hezbollah and we say we don't like your choice so we will not acknowledge it, when we say Mubarak is not a dictator after he has been in power for almost 30 years and is trying to put his son in power; we are not promoting peaceful change, we are not promoting democracy. 

It is sad and I wish my country were better at walking its talk.

As a Public Service…here are the EPA instructions on What to Do if a Compact Fluorescent Light (CFL) Bulb or Fluorescent Tube Light Bulb Breaks in Your Home. The instructions – and I love the passive voice as if the bulb broke on its own – make it seem that living with these bulbs is about as dangerous as living at Chernobyl.

Since I am not ready to live in the dark and firmly believe we have to start conserving energy , I am all for energy saving bulbs. But, unless the EPA is trying to unnecessarily scare us, these bulbs – with their mercury vapor – really are pretty scary and dangerous. Yuck!