Odds and Ends

I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in the stride toward freedom is not the White Citizens Councillor or the Ku Klux Klanner but the white moderate who is more devoted to order than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says, “I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I can’t agree with your methods of direct action”; who paternalistically feels that he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom; who lives by the myth of time; and who constantly advises the Negro to wait until a “more convenient season.” Shallow understanding from people of goodwill is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. An excerpt from Letter from Birmingham Jail by Martin Luther King, Jr., where he was imprisoned as a participant in a nonviolent demonstration in August of 1963.

I’ve grown up thinking that the Democrats were liberals, but I was only half right. The Democratic Party during my growing-up years was Fiscally Liberal with Social Security and Medicare, and, except for President Lyndon Johnson and a few others, controlled by the socially conservative southern Committee leaders. Just as the world has changed since I was growing up, so has the Democratic Party changed. It happened right in front of my eyes, and I didn’t even see it. Today’s Democrats are Socially Liberal and Fiscally Conservative. There are outliers like Ocasio-Cortez and a few others who are both Fiscally Liberal and Socially Liberal, but the Party, en masse, is Fiscally Conservative.

On the other hand, according to Anthony Scaramucci, Trump says his supporters are Fiscally Liberal and Socially Conservative. Not counting, I guess, rich tech entrepreneurs who Trump keeps around with big tax breaks and are fiscally conservative and socially liberal.

We live in a society where money has become so important that it demands special treatment. By that, I mean money – and making money – has the status of being more holy than secular. When Trump threatened to have the U.S. Federal Communications Commission unapprove a major merger between Paramount Global, which owned CBS, and Skydance Media, a deal that many in the media said was contingent on appeasing Trump by firing the late-night comedian, Stephen Colbert, over his anti-Trump comedy, the media didn’t blame CBS or Paramount Global. The general attitude was along the lines of They had no choice.

The unspoken inference was They had no choice because it would cost their stockholders money, and that is of a higher value than doing the right thing. The unspoken part of the inference, BTW, is that the top executives will get more money at the expense of employees further down the totem pole. – I think that the Right Thing, the right choice, the moral choice, is to say “We believe in freedom of speech, which we have a moral obligation to protect and is guaranteed by the First Amendment, especially in political commentary, even though it may cost us money; therefore, we will not bow to political pressure.”

Sort of on the same subject, a couple of days ago, I heard William J. Haynes II interviewed on NPR. Hayes was with the Bush Administration on 9-11 and was one of the people, along with the more infamous John Yoo and Alberto Gonzales, who gave Bush the Younger political cover on attacking Afghanistan after the attack on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon.

Haynes was being interviewed on the Trump Administration’s use of the US Military for a strike on at least four vessels that originated from Venezuela, killing more than twenty people. The pretense was that the boats were smuggling drugs into the US, drugs that have “killed more people than have died in the World Trade Center attack”.

Haynes thought the use of the US Military to attack the boats was illegal. I don’t remember exactly why, or how, but, somehow, Haynes came up with because al-Qaeda was attacking us with intent to harm us, they were a legitiment military target. The boats from Venezuela were not attacking us, even though their cargo killed lots of people; all they are trying to do is make money, so we couldn’t legally use our military.

Speaking of NPR, sort of, I noticed that their commentary is now better, more insisive without being partisan, than I am used to. I think this is because NPR is no longer receiving funding from the Government, and they no longer have the Government looking over their shoulder with the implied threat of cutting off their funds if they were too partisan.

A couple of months ago, every newspaper I read and almost everybody I talked to was outraged that Trump was going to cut off NPR’s funding. I don’t think most people, including people in the Trump Administration, were really thinking about what would happen if NPR funding were cut off; they were just reacting to Trump, ad hominem. Trump is a petty little man who is vindictive and seems to take pleasure in hurting people. He’s a punch down, kiss-ass up kind of guy, and it is very easy to be critical of everything he does, but sometimes, what he does is better for all of us, and I think making NPR truly independent is one of those times.

Interlude Update

There are three kinds of men. The one who learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves. Will Rogers. 

In the quote above, I would like to think that I am in the first group, and only occasionally fall into the second group. However, in terms of my medical life, I often fall into the third group (although Will Rodgers seems to be unnecessarily harsh on this group). The past, almost three weeks, is no exception.

By way of background and explanation. After being diagnosed with bladder cancer and having two painless operations – painless, I think, because they are deep inside my bladder where, I’m guessing, there are no pain receptors – and after waiting for the damage caused by the removal of the cancer to heal, I started a six-week BCG-TICE regimen to kill any remaining cancer cells in my bladder.

The BCG part of the BCG-TICE refers to Bacillus Calmette-Guérin, which is another term for a weakened strain of Mycobacterium bovis. Mycobacterium bovis is the bacterium that causes tuberculosis in cows. TICE is short for Transintestinal Cholesterol Excretion, which, after a lot of searching, the internet tells me, is a physical process in which the body excretes excess cholesterol through the feces.

I have only the vaguest idea of what all this means – although I do know the meaning of the individual words – but the BCG-TICE concoction, itself, is sort of an old-timey remedy, having been first used in 1934. The mixture is inserted into my bladder through my penis (an unhappy penis at this point, believe me). The immune system senses the foreign concoction inside my bladder and kicks into overdrive, immunizing like crazy, killing any stray cancer cells that it presumably hadn’t noticed before.

After mt first treatment on Monday, three weeks ago, it seemed like the treatment would be shockingly easy; I had a runny nose on Tuesday and felt a little achy, but otherwise, by Wednesday, I felt good. By Thursday, I felt great. That weekend, I was still feeling great, flying high, until my right shoulder started to hurt, then my elbow, followed by my hand. For a couple of days, I couldn’t touch my mouth with my right hand. (Try brushing your teeth with your non-dominant hand; it is way harder than you would think.)

In the meantime, I felt not exactly tired, just feverish and weary. Worn out. Oh, and scared, I have enough old-age problems, and I don’t want another system going on the fritz. At about that time, after consulting the internet’s infinite wisdom, Michele said, “You have reactive arthritis, a rare but real thing.” We called my doctor and had a semi-bizarre conversation with a nurse, who was about four corporate levels above my doctor. He called back, and after listening to my whining, he agreed with Michele. Having a name for what was going on and a cause made me feel much better.

The cancer treatment has been put on pause, which is not a good long-term strategy. The long-term plan is now to take a two-week break and then try a half dose of the BCG-TICE mix. Strangely, even though this treatment has been around since the last century, the thinking on dosage size and timing is still pretty loose. It turns out that a half dose is considered as effective as a full dose.

In the meantime, when I don’t feel shitty, I feel great.

* I say semi-bizarre because the nurse on the phone asked all the appropriate questions, with no accent, but had no idea who I was or what the doctor’s specialty was.

A Couple of Facebookish Posts & Reality

We saw Taylor Tomelson at the Paramount in Oakland last Friday night. On Saturday, we saw Lyle Lovett perform with the San Francisco Orchestra. They were very different from each other, except that, in both cases, we were in what we used to call the nose-bleed section, and both were great.

I liked the Taylor Thomilson show the best. Her humor is filtered through her life journey, and her honesty, candor, and growing self-awareness are remarkable. Michele and I think she is the funniest comic in, what seems to me, a growing crowd pushing the boundaries of joke-telling.

Here are a couple of short samples.

Michele and I have probably seen Lyle Lovett more times, together, than any other performer, but we had never seen him in concert with a full symphony orchestra until last Saturday. It was terrific. Lovett is a musician, but, more accurately, he is a Texas storyteller.

Once done, the bladder will be given a chance to heal. Then, it might be time to go with BCG. This is an intravesical treatment option. That means BCG liquid is inserted directly into the bladder. Bldder Cancer Advocacy Network.

Because BCG treatment uses live bacteria, it is important to speak with your healthcare provider about reducing the risk of contamination when you empty the solution from your bladder into the toilet at home. Ibid

On Monday, I came back to reality with the above intravesical treatment. Afterwards, I felt shockingly fine. By Tuesday, I felt like I had a very mild cold, and by Wednesday, even that was gone. The only problem, and it is sort of a problem, is that I have to disinfect the toilet every time I use it for eight hours after the treatment, and I have to disinfect myself with Lysol and my clothes, then life is normal until next Monday, for the next five Mondays, actually.

The disinfectant regime does make everything seem sort of yucky, but I’m sure I’ll get over that.

Israel & The Slaughter of Palestinians

My father, who died just before I turned 28, was a secular Jew. However, he was proud of being Jewish. He never said that we were the chosen people, but I suspect that was more because he didn’t believe in a Chooser than anything else. Still, he thought we were better than the people who looked down on us. We were more compassionate, more inclusive, more accepting, all Jewish virtues he strongly believed in.

In a way, I grew up feeling that my compassion and inclusiveness were a result of being Jewish. In a Of course, I believe everybody should be treated equally; I’m Jewish sort of way. Now, watching Israel slaughter Palestinians in Gaza and constantly terrorizing other Palestinians in the West Bank, that all seems like a lie. To a certain extent, who I believed I was now seems like bullshit. It is more than disheartening.

If there is any consultation, it is that I am not alone in my anger and existential grief. Below is a short (-ish) conversation between two very smart, very compassionate people about Israel, Palestine, and being Jewish during the horror of what is going on. Please give it a try.